Jon Holmes XFM podcasts
Jon Holmes did the breakfast show on XFM from January 2013 to September 2015, when XFM was rebranded as Radio X. He then did the weekend breakfast show until he left in March 2016 to join talkRADIO. Here are the podcasts.
11 Jan 13
Episode 1 - Quentin Tarantino, Rockstar Remedies and more
It's the very first, fresh out the box, still has the price on it, All New Xfm Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes Podcast! Many delights await you, including Rockstar Remedies, Quentin Tarantino and a very special Thought For The Day for satanists. Enjoy.
18 Jan 13
Episode 2 - Jamie Foxx, Brandon Flowers, Harry Hill, The Charlatans.
Podcast 2 is here! You know, the one after podcast 1. And who says all sequels are rubbish, eh? Prepare yourselves for the sickeningly talented Jamie Foxx talking about stuff, Brandon Flowers performing with bagpipes and steel drums, Harry Hill playing our silly games, and The Charlatans' Tim Burgess providing us with some much needed medicinal advice in this week's Rockstar Remedies.
25 Jan 13
Episode 3 - Arnold Schwarzenegger, Denzel Washington and Frank Turner.
It's now a trilogy! Who'd have thought it. Rest assured though, it's much better than the third installment of The Godfather… Jon tries his very best to interview ARNOLD SCHWARZENGGER, but it doesn't quite go to plan… For a more successful A-list chat, Jon then turns his attentions to DENZEL WASHINGTON! He even plays a little game for us. FRANK TURNER plays 'Popstars Win Prizes' – Jon's brand new game that isn't for popstars and doesn't actually have any prizes… PLUS, we're joined by Florence and her Machine in Xfm's Under-Resourced Studio! She actually brought the machine with her on this occasion! DELVE IN!
1 Feb 13
Episode 4 - Denzel Washington, Kelly Jones, Lazy PR
As another week comes screeching to a halt on The Xfm Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes, another Podcast can now be tentatively released into the iTunes wild! But be careful, it bites! Episode 4 sees DENZEL WASHINGTON play a silly game…and KELLY JONES answer some rather ridiculous questions in 'Popstars Win Prizes'. Elsewhere, a bear attacks BBC 5 Live's studio, a rival radio presenter unashamedly slags off our very own Matt Dyson, and the listeners get creative with film prequels that never did – but should have – existed. JUMP IN!
8 Feb 13
Episode 5 - Biffy Clyro, Paul Rudd, Chaff News & more
The 5th Podcast has arrived, and oh we have some treats for you. BIFFY CLYRO play Popstars Win Prizes, although they aren’t popstars and actually, there are no prizes! PAUL RUDD expresses his love for XFM, sincerely. We spice up the UK’s football club names and we discuss some Lazy PR. Oh, and Chris Martin popped down to our under resourced studio to give a, well, different rendition of ‘Fix You’. Dive in…
16 Feb 13
Episode 6 - Suede, Bruce Willis and Adele
BRUCE WILLIS makes a public apology for his questionable 'One Show' appearance, SUEDE reluctantly play a silly radio game in the shape of Popstars Win Prizes, and ADELE (kind of) has a chat with Jon and (in a sense) plays a weird track in Xfm's Under-resourced Studio. All this, plus Xfm's very own John Kennedy has a filthy filthy mouth!
22 Feb 13
Episode 7 - The Courteeners, Mark Wahlberg, Darwin Deez & more!
This week we bring you another content filled Podcast, and it's week 7 already - what! LIAM FRAY out of off of THE COURTEENERS play popstars win prizes. DARWIN DEEZ gives us his special remedy on how to cure warts. MARK WAHLBERG is on the show and we discuss Jon's unique Brits experience. Get on this !
1 Mar 13
Episode 8 - Phill Jupitus, Rockstar Remedy from Supergrass, Lords Of Misrule And More!
Welcome! Another week, another podcast. PHILL JUPITUS is on the show, talking, mainly spiders, with Jon. Dave brightens up one of his dull meetings with some corporate guff speak in LORDS OF MISRULE. GAZ from SUPERGRASS gives us his ROCKSTAR REMEDY. We troll through some LAZY PR and discuss a lot of CHAFF! Enjoy the ride...
14 Mar 13
Episode 9 - Jude Law, Headline Hijack, Lazy PR and More!
Welcome to the last single digit Podcast! 9 weeks already! Oh and do we have some treats for you?...Oh Yes. JUDE LAW chats cake toppings and new bands with Jon. The team find out their celebrity lookalike. We embrace National Cereal Day, #bowlofpuns. And both our two Johns, Kennedy and Hillcock, reveal some shocking secrets! Don't miss out!
27 Mar 13
Episode 10 - James McAvoy, Lords of Misrule, Under Resourced Studio with Harry Styles!
Poddy 10 is here! JAMES MCAVOY chats to behind the scenes of filming with Jon and plays Band I found or Whiskey - he's Scottish roots really shine through! The Breakfast Team become (for no apparent reason) obsessed with Norman Baker, MP for Lewes, band's new single - Piccadilly Circus, and we even make our own Leicester Square version! Dave gets another ridiculous phrase into a meeting - he really is getting a reputation round the office these days. Plus Harry Styles pops down to our under resourced studio, yes this was a booking mistake !
28 Mar 13
Episode 11 - Danny Boyle, Noel Gallagher, Headline Hijack, Lazy PR & More!
This week we are joined by the great and wonderful DANNY BOYLE, he plays a game of Band I found or 18th Century Ailment! Jon catches NOEL GALLAGHER backstage at the Teenage Cancer Trust gigs. We troll through some LAZY PR, think up some bands we would NEVER want to combine #poopergroups, and we hijack some headlines!
7 Apr 13
Episode 12 - Lazy PR, Lords of Misrule, Headline Hijack and more!
We're back after the Easter weekend! We hope you had a good one. This week - Producer Simon steps in Producer Daves shoes for LORDS OF MISRULE and coughs up some corporate guff speak at the Boss! We receive some great film/drink puns! We hijack some headlines, delve into some LAZY PR and play a ridiculous game of BAND I FOUND OR EMBARRASSING PRODUCT. High Priest Vexon Lecrowley delivers his THOUGHT FOR THE DAY FOR SATANISTS, and Jon discovers what some of the other presenters get up to in the studio. Come on, don't miss out!
11 Apr 13
Episode 13 - Lee Mack, Lazy PR, Under Resourced Studio & More
Another week, another Podcast. This week we have LEE MACK playing Band or Mills & Boon novel. We have a great contender for Call Of Duty Black Ops on the radio. We hijack some headlines as usual and troll through some LAZY PR. And we have Beyonce performing in our UNDER RESOURCED STUDIO. It's not one to miss!
18 Apr 13
Episode 14 - Gerard Butler, Milton Jones, Lords Of Misrule & more!
Hello Podcasters! This week GERARD BUTLER is on the show, and becomes the victim of some weird flirty comments from Jon! MILTON JONES also comes in for a chat. We see what rubbish PR companies have sent us in LAZY PR. Dave returns in LORDS OF MISRULE - now with actions! Check it out on the XFM Breakfast Show Facebook! And we have David Bowie in our UNDER RESOURCED STUDIO. Now sit back, relax and Imagine some Dragons... Now wake up and listen to the Podcast!
25 Apr 13
Episode 15 - Frank Turner, Lords Of Misrule, Lazy PR & More!
Welcome, welcome podcasters! This week is all about FRANK TURNER! He comes into the studio and chats about his new album, Danny Boyle in the bogs and groupies! Then later in the week - Jon accidentally insults him via text - check it out on our twitter page, it's pretty unmissable. We IMAGINE SOME DRAGONS. Dave gets yet another ridiculous sentence into his meeting in LORDS OF MISRULE. We get some physical and strange LAZY PR and Matt declares his love for Dave's mum! Don't miss out! Please enjoy responsibly.
2 May 13
Episode 16 - Russell Tovey, Liam Gallagher, Dyson's wedding and more!
Welcome to Podcast 16 of the Xfm Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes! Within this audio treat, Jon plays a silly game with Russell Tovey, Liam Gallagher slags off Producer Dave, newshound Matt Dyson prepares to get married, and we introduce new feature 'Rockabye Rockstars' to our wonderful listeners. Enjoy!
9 May 13
Episode 17 - Simon Pegg, Ralf Little, Under Resourced Studio & More!
Podcast 17 is here, and features the following… SIMON PEGG chats about Star Trek and plays one of Jon's stupid games. We head down to Xfm's 'Under-resourced Studio' to speak to LIAM GALLAGHER (sort of). Jon and the team sabotage Matt Dyson's wedding day, with the use of Ronan Keating. PLUS, Jon chats to RALPH LITTLE about getting off with a 'footballers wife'…
16 May 13
Episode 18 - Dan Akroyd, Josh Widdicombe, Under Resourced Studio with Daft Punk & More!
Welcome to PODCAST 18 of The Xfm Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes. You're now officially allowed to drink whilst listening to these morsels of audio goodness. Unless you're downloading from America. In which case, you'll have to wait another three episodes. Sorry… Within the very grown up podcast 18, Jon has a rather surreal chat with Ghost-busting Blues Brother legend DAN AYKROYD about vodka and aliens, Xfm's very own JOSH WIDDICOMBE pops in for a chat, PLUS, Jon nips down to Xfm's Under-resourced Studio to chat to French dance outfit DAFT PUNK! Enjoy.
23 May 13
Episode 19 - Michael Cera, Jack Dee, Lords of Misrule & More!
Trickling into your human ears this week… Jon chats to star of Superbad, Juno and Arrested Development MICHAEL CERA! JACK DEE pops in for a chat. The team cover (in a bit too much detail) football players pooing… Jon finally discovers just how posh Producer Dave actually is. PLUS, Dave manages to crowbar some corporate guff speak into a meeting with his bank manager in LORDS OF MISRULE. Enjoy.
30 May 13
Episode 20 - Bradley Cooper & Ed Helms, Bill Bailey, Chaff News & More!
Within PODCAST 20 (aside from the rather long and very weird introduction), Jon chats to BILL BAILEY about Slipknot, weird comedy awards and sheds. Stars of the Hangover BRADLEY COOPER and ED HELMS join Jon for another stupid game and chat about hiking, Producer Dave goes into WAY too much detail over Shakira's breasts, and sticking with breasts, we reveal how MYLEENE KLASS has been letting everyone have a go on hers! It's not as weird as it sounds. Oh no wait, yes it is.
6 Jun 13
Episode 21 - Will & Jaden Smith, Miles Kane, Chaff News & More!
Hello! Welcome to Podcast 21 of 21 for The Xfm Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes. What craziness can you expect this week…? WILL AND JADEN SMITH chat to Jon about Bieber, cricket, and terrible parenting. Everyone's favourite scouser (behind Joey Barton) MILES KANE charms the socks off the Breakfast team and chats bacon sarnies. Jon turns up a tad late to his own breakfast show, and 'every nipple helps'… Apparently. Enjoy!
16 Jun 13
Episode 22 - Beady Eye, Dominic Cooper, Miles Away & More!
Welcome to podcast 22 of the Xfm Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes! What's inside!!? We hear you scream. Well… British actor DOMINIC COOPER pops in to chat about his new film 'Summer in February' and random sex toys… Jon and the team reveal some exclusive footage from Beady Eye's performance on 'talent' show The Voice. Jon also is joined by LIAM GALLAGHER and the Beady Eye boys for a chat about bees, doves and dogs (fair to say this particular chat takes some interesting turns along the way), and the Xfm Breakfast team sift through more mis-judged marketing in end-of-week feature LAZY PR.
20 Jun 13
Episode 23 - Daniel Radcliffe
What to expect from yet another week's worth of Xfm Breakfast Show weirdness… Boy wizard and all round top chap DANIEL RADCLIFFE shows us his bludger, and play a stupid game… we welcome back everyone's favourite feature MILES AWAY with The Wonder Stuff's Miles Hunt… 'Crap Celeb Spot of the Week'. PLUS, posh people swearing. It's got it all! Enjoy.
27 Jun 13
Episode 24 - Steve Carell, Lazy PR, Chaff News & More!
Waiting for you and your ears on PODCAST 24… Jon gets the BIG EXCLUSIVE everyone was clambering for, when asking this week's guest STEVE CARELL about his mild hay fever allergies… Steve also plays 'Band or Villain', with rather funny consequences. Jon and newshound Matt Dyson get very close and extremely intimate when re-enacting a famous film scene… We get your questionable questions for everyone's favourite band (?) THE SCRIPT! PLUS. Drugs - Just say no kids. Enjoy.
4 Jul 13
Episode 25 - Seth Rogen, Editors Tom Smith, Sick Dyson & More
Welcome to podcast 25! A quarter of a centuries worth of radio nonsense. Here's some more for you. Does Tom Smith from Editors remember being interviewed by Producer Dave in his silver Ford Fiesta in 2006? Listen to find out. The Xfm Breakfast Show absolutely destroy a Buggles classic with their own rendition of 'Video Killed the Radio Star' Newshound Matt Dyson is physically sick in Leicester Square… Not that Jon mentioned it on air much… Jon chats to SETH ROGEN and plays 'Band or God'. PLUS, Producer Dave channels Matt Dyson with some shameless self promotion in the Music News. Enjoy!
11 Jul 13
Episode 26 - Jason Biggs, Gary Lightbody, Chaff News & much more!
Hello online traveller! How's your dial-up modem holding up? Here's a taster of what to expect in Podcast 26… Jon chats to the man who sexed an American pie, the very funny JASON BIGGS! Xfm's JOHN KENNEDY reviews a track the Xfm Breakfast Show wrote and recorded. Safe to say he's not a fan! PLUS, we modernise kids books, with rather funny consequences! Have fun.
21 Jul 13
Episode 27 - Mumford and Sons, Pegg and Frost and The Red Bull Soapbox Race
In this week's batch of audible weirdness, Jon plays a silly game with MUMFORD AND SONS (hilarity ensues), we see how the team got on in The Red Bull Soapbox Race, Jon plays 'Mr and Mr' with SIMON PEGG and NICK FROST, plus we welcome back everyone's (no one's) favourite feature 'The Price Is Broadly Right at the Time of Going to Press'. Enjoy
26 Jul 13
Episode 28 - Nicolas Cage, some weird Royal Baby stuff, and intern Geraint nearly gets arrested.
WELCOME to podcast 28! WARNING… it's 'Royal Baby' heavy. We're nothing if not topical! New intern Ger nearly gets arrested in Leicester Square as Jon forces him to become Xfm's official town crier. Jon chats to NICOLAS CAGE about bears, ghosts, and his unwritten horror novel… Nic's, not Jon's. We cross live to Matt Dyson, who is scuffling with the rest of the world media outside the Lindo Wing for the first Royal Baby scoop… PLUS, find out why Mr Dyson was in a swimming pool with HOLLY WILLOUGHBY'S baby last weekend…
4 Aug 13
Episode 29 - Frank Turner, Dyson naked on Ebay and Absolute Belters
WARNING: Podcast 29 contains audio nudity. After Jon sketches Matt in a seductive pose, we put the offending image up for auction with ludicrous results. Jon chats to FRANK TURNER, making him play a game that’s so tenuous he’s driven to drink. We hear how Ian Camfield’s adult phone line continues to do roaring business and how Producer Dave’s “absolute belters” are ruining Xfm. PLUS a bag of Chaff news and Producer Simon’s incredible debut on Two Tracks Go To War…
8 Aug 13
Episode 30 – Johnny Depp, Jo Good’s Tattooed Breasts and Silly Little Hand Gestures
Behold, Podcast 30! We speak to JOHNNY DEPP about the movements of dead crows, VEXON LE CROWLEY provides a Thought for the Day for Satanists, and JO GOOD exposes her tattooed breasts. Throw in a handful of Chaff News and a sprinkle of Matt Dyson berating Farah and Bolt for their “silly little hand gestures”, and you have a Podcast 30. Serve piping hot, and enjoy!
22 Aug 13
Episode 31 - Thought for the Day for Satanists, Andy Parsons impression, and slander
Hello dearest internet traveller. Good to see you again. Nice shoes. Buried deep within this edition of the Xfm Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes Podcast, you will find Jon impersonating Dick Van Dyke and Andy Parsons simultaneously, another terrific 'Thought For The Day For Satanists', the team being a little bit slanderous, and 'Miles Away' with Miles Hunt out of off of The Wonder Stuff. Oh, and there's a bit of bonus 'Choice FM' material, weirdly.
1 Sep 13
Episode 32 – Cillian Murphy, Bumgate and the final Miles Away
Greetings Podcast 32 downloader! Hope you’re well. How’s the family? Great, glad to hear it. Great weather we’re having isn’t it? Yeah, we had a barbecue on Saturday. Anyway, enough of this pleasant nattering. This week CILLIAN MURPHY and his piercing blue eyes joined us to face bewildering questions about pandas, Jon broke numerous workplace rules by forcing Intern Ger to tattoo his derrière and we hear how BEZ from the Happy Mondays has bees in his breeches. Plus the emotional finale to MILES AWAY, and a quick romp through Classic FM. Enjoy!
5 Sep 13
Episode 33 – Queens of the Stone Age, Rob Newman and DJ Hot Mum
Once more unto the breach dear friends, Podcast 33 enters the fray. Hold on to your chairs, it could get odd. We bombard you with QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE wittering about tequila and twerking. Funny intellectual ROB NEWMAN and hairy man Matt Dyson go head-to-head in a ridiculous and marginally overcompetitive game of Band or Gene. Plus Jon shouting about email etiquette and clove-hoofed gingers, a THOUGHT FOR THE DAY FOR SATANISTS and Dave receives a rather desirable new DJ name…
12 Sep 13
Episode 34 – Channing Tatum, Jamie Foxx, Paul Simonon and punching One Direction
By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked and shaped like the XFM Breakfast Show Podcast 34 this way comes. Listen with a mixture of bemusement and a sense of inevitability as Jon traps CHANNING TATUM and JAMIE FOXX in a dark and intimate hotel room for a nose-to-nose interview, Clash bass-smasher PAUL SIMONON doesn’t find our puns amusing and new News-Boy Jake reveals his mathematical shortcomings. Plus Jon demands to fight the hordes of One Direction fans, we all propose some ludicrous new Guinness World Records, and we howl about testicles far too much…
19 Sep 13
Episode 35 – Adam Hills, Kodaline and Irish Japery
One Man. One Newsreader. Two producers and various other contributors. Listen to what critics have described as “Podcast 35”, a high-octane, thrilling highlights package of relatively modest proportions. Be astounded as Australian funny-man ADAM HILLS explains the mathematical formula for comedy, be shocked as KODALINE argue about Irish tourist destinations, and be confused as Matt Dyson falls off a Segway. Plus terrible sound effects, THOUGHT FOR THE DAY FOR SATANISTS, a mystery Northampton clown and Producer Dave’s Irish accent. Apologies in advance, refunds not available.
26 Sep 13
Episode 36 – Hugh Jackman, Sean Lock, Seann Walsh and Josh Widdicombe
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways, I love you like Podcast 36, as it recaps the past five days. I love thee like interviews with WALSH and WIDDICOMBE, Or that time we talked about Andy Murray with thumbs up his bum, Or when SEAN LOCK’s views on tea were almost obscene, Or when HUGH JACKMAN came in, you know, that guy Wolverine, Or when another THOUGHT FOR THE DAY verged on SATANIC, Or when Dave nearly drowned like he’d survived the Titanic, Or when Eddie Temple-Morris went into Dragon’s Den, Or when WESTWOOD spoke on philosophy and found inner Zen, Or when MATT’S NOSTRIL HAIRS led to worrying groans, I love you like the XFM Breakfast Show, with presenter Jon Holmes. About ten ways then, just listen.
3 Oct 13
Episode 37 - James McAvoy and Jon Baird, Sweaty Frank Turner and more adult content…
Please be advised, PODCAST 37 contains graphic imagery, lucid thoughts and adult themes from the beginning and is not suitable for the faint-hearted or those of a nervous disposition. Parental Guidance is recommended as JAMES MCAVOY and JON BAIRD talk about simultaneous self-indulgence and crying. Explicit Material stickers abound when Jon reveals how much he enjoys the sweaty embrace of FRANK TURNER. Plus we discuss slagheaps in great detail for our LARGELY IRRELEVANT PAPER REVIEW, embrace the dark lord with another THOUGHT FOR THE DAY FOR SATANISTS and Jon demands to be carried around like Justin Bieber. Be aware, carrying PODCAST 37 across international borders is not only illegal, but also downright offensive.
10 Oct 13
Episode 38 - Jack and Michael Whitehall, Matt hates Northerners and Scramby Eggs
Captain’s Log, PODCAST 38, on the good ship XFM - our destination is radio perfection but we are a long way from home. Our crew has been strengthened by the arrival of JACK AND MICHAEL WHITEHALL but they keep arguing about the night Jack was conceived. Humanoid First Officer Matt Dyson has also caused unrest in the ranks by insulting all the Northerners, and it seems that the EARGASM engine needs urgent repairs. Our journey has been fraught with danger; the abbreviated horror of SCRAMBY EGGS attacked once more, we veered dangerously close to saying something utterly unbroadcastable about FLEETWOOD MAC and only just survived the appalling sound effects provided by Intern Ger. I am starting to think we may not be alone…
17 Oct 13
Episode 39 - Paul McCartney, Dave’s Mum, Aled Jones and Matt drinking on a Train
XFM BREAKFAST SHOW PODCAST, 39, seeks listener for companionship, laughter and potentially more, particularly if you're Producer Dave's mother. Likes long chats with PAUL MCCARTNEY, drinking bottles of wine on trains with Matt Dyson, discussing 99 PROBLEMS and telling unbroadcastable tales about ALED JONES. Respondents will be interested in chanting about KOLO AND YAYA TOURE, attending sermons discussing a THOUGHT FOR THE DAY FOR SATANISTS and reading chapters of MORRISSEY's autobiography aloud. Incredibly patient and forgiving listeners preferred. Must also enjoy poetry, talking about feelings and impact play. GSOH essential, BYOB optional.
24 Oct 13
Episode 40 - Sir Ben Kingsley, James Corden and RIP Mr. Fish
To those assembled to listen to PODCAST 40, take a pew. We gather here today to pay our respects, sing our hymns and to remember he who is no longer here. We are joined by esteemed company - the right honourable SIR BEN KINGSLEY is planning a music video about today’s proceedings, and the downright dishonourable JAMES CORDEN has just crept back from the lavatories after peeing on his hands. JOHN SUCHET will deliver our reading, unconventionally taken from the works of the prophet MORRISSEY, and I’m pleased to see you’ve all attended in the traditional garish shirts of late Intern Ger. Yet it is not he who we mourn today, but our loyal golden aquatic friend, MR FISH. May he rest in peas.
1 Nov 13
Episode 41 - David Baddiel, Stephen Merchant and more
So we’ve finally arrived. Well done. Battling past stormy St Jude was an ordeal, but The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes made it through, as did sciatica-suffering DAVID BADDIEL and the bearded STEPHEN MERCHANT. And as if that wasn’t enough, Jon made a startling announcement regarding 80s Scouse singing sensation Sonia. Big news indeed. Elsewhere, Producer Dave and Matt Dyson nearly drowned, all for the amusement of the spooky ANDY NYMAN. Plus we heard from Mercury Prize winner JAMES BLAKE, who was in excruciatingly dull form, and The X-Factor’s Kingsland Road (no, us neither) nailed their flag to The XFM Breakfast Show mast. All of this and more in fabulous podcast form, available right here, right now, ideal for relieving the boredom next time your journey takes 3 times as long as normal thanks to a little bit of wind.
9 Nov 13
Episode 42 - Jude Law, Steve Coogan, a guest DJ appearance and some intimate mind reading...
Interviews galore and plenty of zip-bang-crash this week, but the big news is simple – TOBY ANSTIS. Heart FM’s very own aardvark aficionado helps out Jon and Producer Dave in spectacular manner, dropping by for an extra special guest appearance. Plus decidedly appropriate chats with STEVE COOGAN, JUDE LAW and ROSS NOBLE, as well as an inappropriate one with MILES KANE. There’s firework fun and Movember tips, alongside the usual Chaff News and Largely Irrelevant Paper Review nonsense. Less usual is Jon, Matt and Producer Dave’s diversion into psychic territory – there’s an opportunity to peek inside their no doubt troubled, warped and twisted minds, live on air. Which makes a change. As did Matt Dyson's unexplained disappearance, which left newsreader Lyndsey to pick up his slack for a few days. Tune in next week for more hilarity, though we probably can’t promise any more Anstis. Apologies.
15 Nov 13
Episode 43 - Jennifer Lawrence, Sarah Millican, lots of ocean-love, Living In A Box advice and much more...
Cruel, hopeless, devoid of any sense of freedom or creativity. No, it’s not THE XFM BREAKFAST SHOW PODCAST WITH JON HOLMES, but instead the dystopian world of The Hunger Games – and this week Jon met the actress from said film (and squirrel-botherer) JENNIFER LAWRENCE. Plus JAKE BUGG and SARAH MILLICAN trekked through the wilderness of District 12 to make it into XFM HQ for a chat. State entertainment came in the form of Shaun Ryder’s new TV venture, and The Authorities faced off in the forms of Tim Westwood and Alan Titchmarsh. Elsewhere, Jon mused upon that song by The Courteeners, as is his want, and Gamemaker/Producer Dave crushed the career dreams of humble tribute Matt Dyson. News reached us that a wallaby was loose somewhere in Panem, and a review of the state’s Largely Irrelevant communications was undertaken. The Gamemakers hereby present you with an audio edition of the above, for responsible predesignated consumption. If deemed acceptable, The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes will return next week at 0600.
22 Nov 13
Episode 44 - Mickey Flanagan, Manic Street Preachers, Bill Bailey, bum pregnancies and more...
Right then, me old muckas, let’s ‘ave a little knees up! This ‘ere week on THE XFM BREAKFAST SHOW WITH JON HOLMES we’ve got proper gent MICKEY FLANAGAN, alongside Producer Dave showing just how Cockney he really is. Beardy bloke BILL BAILEY came in to play a round of Band Or… and Jon confirmed his love for Keith Allen’s lovely little daughter. Plus, we help out that yank Jay Zed with 99 More Realistic Problems before we hear that old Tel Wogan probably needs a bit of help ‘imself. As ever, we’ve got our Thought For The Day For Satanists, and James and Nicky from them there MANIC STREET PREACHERS tell us why they wish they were born within the sound of the Tebay Motorway Service Station bells. Best of all, Matt Dyson explains all about the birds and the bees, and the bums, and the belfies - proper nonsense, we all had a right bubble. The XFM Breakfast Show returns on Monday at 6 o’clock, til then keep your nut down fella.
29 Nov 13
Episode 45 - Russell Brand, Storm-Outs and Miley Cyrus' Midas Touch, plus much more...
Storm the gates! Up the revolution! RUSSELL BRAND joins us on THE XFM BREAKFAST SHOW WITH JON HOLMES to fight the power by playing a quick round of Band or Kama Sutra Position. We’ve got the regime-changing Largely Irrelevant Paper Review plus Comrade Jon really sticks it to the man (Producer Dave) after a bust-up over 90s kids show Around The Twist. And whilst the revolution will not be televised, our regular Thought For The Day For Satanists will be broadcast right into your ears. Homunculus Duff (Brand's words, not ours) Matt Dyson predicted some sports results in the wake of the collapse of the football institution, and we heard from our no doubt soon-to-be Head of Culture Tim Westwood, in Westwood’s Wise Words of Wisdom. Join us in the New Free World next week for more disobedience and protests – Weekdays from 6am, on Xfm.
6 Dec 13
Episode 46 - A Short Tale about Colin Farrell, Miranda Hart, Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and much more...
Budge along there, room for a small one, come in, come in. Welcome to THE XFM BREAKFAST SHOW WITH JON HOLMES. Lots of pint-sized treats this week; COLIN FARRELL dropped in for a short conversation, plus we squeezed a tiny bit of chat out of The Courteeners’ LIAM FRAY. Jon insulted MIRANDA HART before she gave us some maracca-based exercise tips and we offered a wee bit of help to the troubled rapper Jay-Zed. All this on top of a little visit from Top Gear’s JEREMY CLARKSON and RICHARD HAMMOND – and it seems Jon’s developed a bit of a complex…wouldn’t have expected it from the big man. Join us next week for more from the Xfm Breakfast Show, everyday from 6am til 10am.
13 Dec 13
Episode 47 - Martin Freeman, Harry Hill, ferry advice, a tipsy Jon and much more...
Arise, and behold the regal XFM BREAKFAST SHOW WITH JON HOLMES. This week one received a visit from a cheeky gentleman named HARRY HILL, before becoming acquainted with Hobbity-Prince MARTIN FREEMAN. In addition, one's regular Thought For The Day For Satanists was broadcast, and one inaugurated some Lazy PR. Gratitude was given to Sir Christopher de Burgh for his travel advice, and a new feature based around a mystery guest was coronated! As you will hear, Jon has been working on some impressions, and I'm sure you'll agree they're a royal success. Maybe. I think he was in a bit of a fragile mental state after Thursday night's Winter Wonderland. That might explain it. Anyway, The Xfm Breakfast Show With Jon Holmes will be back with more of the same all next week, on Xfm every weekday from 6am til 10am. Good day.
20 Dec 13
Episode 48 - Will Ferrell, Paul Rudd, Tom Odell, One Direction Fury, Jon misbehaving (shock) and much more...
This just in! Stop press – it’s THE XFM BREAKFAST SHOW WITH JON HOLMES! Breaking news this week as we were joined by the stars of Anchorman 2, WILL FERRELL and PAUL RUDD. We’ve also got an exclusive from Hendon’s Vexen Le Crowley in our regular feature Thought For The Day For Satanists, as well as an interview with the best thing about The X Factor – TOM ODELL. And speaking of The X Factor (who’d have thought that would be an Xfm topic?) Jon’s got the latest from his favourite pop-sensations/mechanically-reclaimed meat-puppets One Direction – unsurprisingly, it doesn’t end well. All this plus an editorial insight into life at home with rap’s superstar Jay Zed and internet-botherer Beyonce in the return of 99 More Realistic Problems. The Xfm Breakfast Show is back to guide you into Christmas next week - and keep your eyes open for a special, bonus Podcast with Christmas best bits coming your way soon. Aren’t you lucky? See you Monday, 6am, Xfm. Stay Classy London.
24 Dec 13
Episode 49 - Christmas Special. Dom Joly, a satanists's Christmas, a present for Producer Dave's Mum and much more...
Well don’t say we never give you anything. A Merry Christmas to you, and here’s your treat – an extra slice of THE XFM BREAKFAST SHOW WITH JON HOLMES. Take that look of your face. It’s a good present alright! What would you prefer, vouchers? Anyway, here it is, take it or leave it. Funnyman DOM JOLY plays a round of Band or Stupid Social Media Slang, plus we’ve got a few Christmas tidbits from the last couple of weeks – tales from the Xfm Christmas party, a brand new Christmas Cashback Quiz, Producer Dave’s gift idea for his mum, it’s all here just for you. It’s like Boxing Day leftovers, but for your ears. There’s also a wondrous poem from friend of the show John Suchet, and some ridiculous Chaff-based Kate Winslet news. Don’t say we didn’t warn you. Happy Christmas to one and all, we’ll see you back here in the New Year – and to all a good night.
10 Jan 14
Episode 50 - New Year, Same Show. With Colin Firth, Dave Rowntree, memories of Leslie Grantham and much more...
So, here we are, new year, new show. Well, the same show really. More of the same old rubbish. You know you love it. Anyway here it is, THE XFM BREAKFAST SHOW WITH JON HOLMES. And at this optimistic time of year full of new resolutions and hopeful opportunity here’s that 99 Problems bit you used to know, and that Thought For The Day For Satanists you once loved. But wait, here’s a brand new interview with romance’s own COLIN FIRTH, where he sizzles and charms and plays a game of Band or Train. We’re also joined by Xfm’s newest DJ, DAVE ROWNTREE from Blur, and we take a look back at Jon’s first ever link on the Breakfast Show a year ago. Matt Dyson was away for a few days, nominally ill but presumably in Nando’s, until he returned with some classic Chaff News, and there’s a peek at some of the ideas that never made it to air over the last year. The Xfm Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes will be back on air however every morning next week from 6 til 10. Yes, with more of the same. You’re addicts, the lot of you.
17 Jan 14
Episode 51 - Jonah Hill, Danny McNamara, Dave's Morning Rituals and much more...
It’s THE XFM BREAKFAST SHOW WITH JON HOLMES and this week it’s all about comebacks. We’ve got the first interview in years with DANNY MCNAMARA who tells us about the hotly anticipated return of Embrace. Plus we speak to film star JONAH HILL as he reappears on our screens in The Wolf of Wall Street. High Priest Vexen LeCrowley is back with another Thought For The Day For Satanists, and we celebrate Producer Dave’s homecoming to his natural habitat – cabaret (seriously). All this as well as some spectacular egg-based Chaff News, and Matt Dyson teaches us a new word. The Xfm Breakfast Show is back next week, every morning from 6 til 10 – but don’t call it a comeback.
24 Jan 14
Episode 52 - Robert De Niro, Sylvester Stallone, Chris Pine, Producer Dave's Boozy Past and much more...
This week’s podcast is a bona fide knockout. Joining us on THE XFM BREAKFAST SHOW WITH JON HOLMES are Jake LaMotta and Rocky Balboa aka Hollywood heavyweights ROBERT DE NIRO and SYLVESTER STALLONE! And to top it off we’ve got the star of Star Trek and new Jack Ryan CHRIS PINE. Ridiculous right? But don’t worry, we haven’t gone all superstar on you – in the blue corner we’ve got your familiar Thought For The Day For Satanists and in the red corner, just about hanging in there, is Producer Dave, reeling from a punch from his past. Matt Dyson takes a new approach to delivering the weather, Jon has a satirical bout with UKIP, and there’s a welcome return for the Largely Irrelevant Paper Review. The Xfm Breakfast Show will be back every morning next week from 6 til 10 – let’s get ready to rumble!
31 Jan 14
Episode 53 - Aaron Eckhart, Motley Crue Music News and more
Another week, another jam-packed Xfm Breakfast Show podcast for your perusal. This time round, Jon is charmed by Two-Face himself AARON ECKHART, the Breakfast show host finally turns up halfway through Friday morning's broadcast, Matt Dyson sneezes (yep, that made it in), the Xfm printer makes the noise of a well-known hip hop track, and Producer Dave shows us his 'Motley Crue', whatever the hell that means. Dig in!
10 Feb 14
Episode 54 - Gary Oldman, Hugh Dennis and Producer Dave's Haunted House
Annoying, needless, and lacking in planning. No, not this week's tube strikes, but THE XFM BREAKFAST SHOW PODCAST! (little joke there). This week, Brit acting hero GARY OLDMAN approaches the radio platform. Please watch the gap, as Jon also chats to HUGH DENNIS. Mind the closing doors, as we discover Producer Dave's house is haunted, and make sure you tap in your oyster card, as Al the Cabbie introduces the team to a terrific Beatles-themed invention. We'd give you more information, but we've run out of tube-based plays on words… ALL ABOARD!
14 Feb 14
Episode 55 - Chris O'Dowd, Kaiser Chiefs, Nick Helm and the beginning of Producer Simon's New Life
Sandbags at the ready! Another Xfm Breakfast Show Podcast is here to burst its banks and flood the internet. In this weeks' downpour of radio goodness, Jon chats to shouty sweaty sweary man (he was none of those things when we met him) NICK HELM, Producer Simon and his fiancé reveal exactly who wear the trousers in their relationship, Chris O'Dowd (him from Bridesmaids and The I.T. Crowd) questions Producer Dave's methods of counting, and Xfm's very own John Kennedy channels SHIA LEBEOUF. Dive in! The Xfm Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes – Weekdays 6-10am
21 Feb 14
Episode 56 - Jack Whitehall, Producer Dave the moaner and an unexpected email
Assuming our intern has figured out how to upload the damn thing now, you should be enjoying all manner of fun and games from The Xfm Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes in the form of a computer podcast! I know, groundbreaking stuff. In here, you'll find that Producer Dave is proudly one of the biggest moaners within the company (tell us something we don't know), Jack Whitehall has just about enough of Jon's constant 'sex jokes' towards his various family members, and brand new feature 'Yo! Suchet' kind of works on the radio. Which is nice. Enjoy! The Xfm Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes. Weekdays 6-10am
28 Feb 14
Episode 57 - Dominic Cooper, Mark Thomas and a mysterious object
Another week, another dollar. Actually, it’s another week and another XFM Breakfast Show Podcast, ready to occupy you for 40 or so minutes. So, if you’ve got a short commute why not treat it as a trilogy? Jon chats to the man who’s playing the man who wrote the James Bond books, actor and all round nice beardy bloke DOMINIC COOPER. We have an exclusive chat with a Garvey about a very special ELBOW performance, and will the Mystery Object be a roll over once again? Find out inside. Well, when you put your headphones inside your ears anyway. The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes – Weekdays 6-10am
7 Mar 14
Episode 58 - Aaron Paul, George Groves and the red carpet
Ding Ding Ding! It's round 58. And by that we mean it's the 58th podcast in the collection that we call The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes. Why the bad boxing pun? We hear no one mutter. Well, it's because we have GEORGE (ST George) GROVES talking about his rematch with Carl Froch. This warrior is a soon-to-be sporting legend whom – inexplicably - is a fan of Jon. We also have A-list action in the shape of one Mr AARON PAUL (Jesse Pinkman out of off of 'Breaking Bad'), talking fast cars, pizza and crystal meth. There's a brief (and slightly disturbing) discussion about Jon's member… And now that TV channel BBC Three is on the way out, we look at their programmes that didn't exist, but really should have. Oh, and Matt's off to have a baby....well his wife is. He'll probably just stand and look on whilst eating a Nandos combo meal. The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes. Weekdays 6-10am
14 Mar 14
Episode 59 - Reece Shearsmith, Olivia Lee and a few bits we didn't have time for
SURPRISE! Even whilst Jon Holmes is away, the XFM Breakfast Show podcast shall play. 35 minutes of all the best bits that never quite made it into other editions (but trust us, it's still radio gold) This highlights package (as it shall now be known), contains two, yes TWO, interviews. The first being REECE SHEARMSITH (he of 'League of Gentlemen' fame) and OLIVIA LEE (she of gentlemen's area-based microphones fame). We celebrate more 'Lazy PR', plus Vexen Le Crowley offers up another moment of clarity and reflection with his 'Thought For The Day For Satanists'. So sit down if you need to. Or don't, if you don't... And appreciate the magic of the internet with this bumper edition of The XFM Breakfast Show Podcast, even though we have absolutely no idea where the presenter is, or what the hell he's doing (probably for the best). The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes: weekdays 6-10am
21 Mar 14
Episode 60 - Kavana, Shed Dancing and Crying
Hello all! This week, we celebrate The XFM Breakfast Show Podcast's Diamond (60… but you knew that) anniversary by having cucumber sandwiches on a plasterers table that we've set up down the middle of the office, and then finding any excuse to go to the pub. In this very special limited edition episode, we delve into the slightly odd mind of news reader Alex. We learn about some of Katie Price's former conquests thanks to John Suchet in regular feature Yo! Suchet. Plus, Mr Holmes pitches an audacious proposition to soon-to-be BBC controller Noel Edmonds. So, lean back if you're in a chair (but not if you're on a stool or standing up) and enjoy. The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes: Weekdays 6 - 10am
28 Mar 14
Episode 61 - Jon's Mum, Dave's Gig and Alex phones home
Welcome to the internet, dear virtual traveller. You've happened upon on an audio podcast. A Breakfast show podcast. A podcast that – in essence – is the very best of the worst bits of the XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes… without the music. So, if this is your kind of thing, jump in and swim around features and competitions and fun and stuff. Within the 1's and 0's this week, you will find talk of gigs you didn't mean to go to (though Producer Dave definitely wanted to go to Katy B), we learn about much of Jon's childhood from his mum in one-off feature 'Uncomfortably Mum', and we say Bon Voyage to the mind that is News Reader Alex. Sob. Enjoy! The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes: Weekdays 6-10am
3 Apr 14
Episode 62 - Ray Winstone, Coffee and Escalator Chat
BE QUIET YOU NON GENDER SPECIFIC PERSON WHO LIKES TO SLEEP AROUND. Its Episode 62 of the XFM Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes. Or, the 'Ray Winstone Special', as it shall be known from here on in. Elsewhere in this cockney-heavy edition, Charles the intern has to earn his keep in our brand new feature '12 Weeks A Slave' (yep, the name most definitely came first with this idea), Matt Dyson conducts some not-so-subtle product placement for that well known brand 'coffee', and Jon was once a prophylactic. Confused? So are we. It's fine. The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes: Weekdays 6-10am
10 Apr 14
Episode 63 - Alex James, a terrible song and Dyson on a treadmill
He lives in a house a very big house in the country, no it's not Jon he lives like a Borrower. It's Alex James he joins us on Episode 63 of The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes. Producer Dave learns about Divorce thanks to The Largely Irrelevant Paper Review. 12 Weeks A Slave continues with a boombox and a live performance. Yo! Suchet is the strangest yet! And Matt Dyson pays homage to the London Marathon, next stop the Olympics or A&E depending on how the training goes. The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes Monday-Friday 6am-10am
16 Apr 14
Episode 64 - Andrew Garfield, Emma Stone and Jon's
A few rules that have stood the test of time in radio. Be nice to your guests, play games that make sense, steers clear of contentious subjects and issues, and don't run a feature just because you've thought of a good name for it. All advice we've positively eschewed, as we berate Spiderman's Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone, play a convoluted game of 'Eggs or Benedict', run risky feature 'Twelve Weeks A Slave' and enjoy another round of Yo! Suchet. Oh, and there's much discussion over the size of Jon's right nipple. Enjoy! The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes: Weekdays 6-10am
24 Apr 14
Episode 65 - Jon Holmes' Tiny Feet, Matt Dyson battles nature's biggest bullies and Amanda Holden on YO! Suchet
The top-line for episode 65 of the XFM Breakfast Show Podcast? Jon Holmes has tiny feet. Granted, Jon having small feet possibly isn’t that surprising. Though what he chose to put those feet in… is. Elsewhere, newshound Matt Dyson takes out his Easter aggression on a helpless washing line, Intern Charles sings for Jon’s Birthday in regular feature 12 Weeks A Slave, we find out whether Jon’s dog is Dead or Alive, and we ruin/improve Twin Atlantic’s new song for you, depending on whether you also like Def Leppard, Whitesnake and One Direction. PLUS… breakfast show mainstays YO! Suchet and What The Largely Irrelevant Papers Say. We do hope you enjoy it. And if not, well… its not like you paid for it, is it? The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes: Weekdays 6am-10am
1 May 14
Episode 66 - Ricky Gervais, Robert Webb and Rave Travel
Hello there. This week The XFM Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes brings a double header of guests! Not only does RICKY GERVAIS return to where it all began for him (XFM, obviously), one half of Peep Show turns up, as ROBERT WEBB chats to Jon about butlers, Russell Brand and magic tricks. We also tut loudly and shake our heads disapprovingly at more mis-targeted marketing in LAZY PR, and we learn a little too much about David Hasselhoff's wiener thanks to much loved midweek feature YO! SUCHET. Oh, and we 'rave up' the travel during London's annoying tube strikes. Glow-sticks at the ready, party people! The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes: Weekdays 6-10am
9 May 14
Episode 67 - Much breakfast merriment
Welcome to podcast 67 of the Jon Holmes podcast! This week, we find out that Danny Dyer is a culinary connoisseur, and in certain parts of the UK you like to paint your knobs. We're also learn all about R Kelly's mental dream in regular feature YO! SUCHET, The MYSTERY OBJECT returns. Will anyone get it......probably not. PLUS, everyone's favourite game returns with DEAD OR ALIVE. Simply guess whether someone or something is dead or alive. So tune in, lock out, dock on or whatever you kids call it, and enjoy this week's podcast! The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes: Weekdays 6-10am
15 May 14
Episode 68 - Josh Widdicombe takes over
It’s Episode 68 of the Xfm Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes, though it’s not Jon at all. What the hell is going on?! It’s Josh Widdicombe. Him off of XFM's weekend morning show, stand-up comedy and C4's Last Leg fame. Not just because we fancied a change, but because Jon is on his holidays. This week, we test out newshound Matt Dyson's mixing skills ahead of his debut DJ set, we get your crap TV cameos, and what length would you go to for a Blue Peter Badge? Also, while Jon’s away the team get to discuss football and Panini Sticker Collections. What a treat! Josh is also joined by Aussie comedian Adam Hills. Enjoy the podcast as we bring a little bit of the weekend to your weekday, unless this is the weekend and you're reading this. In which case ignore the last twenty words. The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes: Weekdays 6am-10am
22 May 14
Episode 69 - Love, Jackman and Roslin
If this podcast had eyeballs, we'd be up them with the amount of celebs crammed into this edition! We’ve got Gabby Roslin being all charitable, Courtney Love being all random and Wolverine himself (Hugh Jackman), being all brilliant and charming and stuff. Elsewhere, we learn about the listeners' most 'flouncy' moments, how many chilli's Intern Charles can eat whilst asking questions about his 'homeland' of the Isle of Wight, and just how far can a welly be wanged with Weller's face on it? Yep, it's as tenuous as it sounds. All this, and probably more. Jump in! The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes: Weekdays 6-10am on 104.9 XFM (or DAB if you're some sort of millionaire)
29 May 14
Episode 70 - Soft Fruits, KimYe and 1D
Welcome to the 70th edition of The XFM Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes. If we were married, that'd mean we'd have just gone platinum! How very exciting. It may be a short one this week, but it's a bloody good one (no Jon Holmes height jokes necessary). This week, we reluctantly learn all about the now newly married power-couple 'KimYe' (which we agree sounds more like a Wagamama's side dish), and Matt Dyson informs us of his 'soft fruits' in The Largely Irrelevant Paper Review. Elsewhere, High Priest Vexen Le Crowley brings us another 'Thought For The Day For Satanists' (a festival edition, no less), and XFM's Mystery Sound leaves everybody in the dark, even the team… who know the answer. So, crack open the bubbly (age dependent on country alcohol laws) and raise a glass to our 70th… CHEERS! The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes: Weekdays 6-10am
5 Jun 14
Episode 71 - Channing Tatum, Jonah Hill, Seth Macfarlane and the odd appendage
Step this way for possibly the bluest XFM Breakfast Show podcast to date! So, what can we expect? We talk about the worst throw in the history of throwing courtesy of rapping gentleman 50 Cent. Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum discuss genitals, and Intern Charles’ family jewels have a disagreement with a tennis ball delivered to him thanks to Jon Holmes and a golf club, in a terrific game of 'Tee Of In The Dark For T In The Park' Oh, and noted broadcast journalist John Suchet reads aloud from Jesse J's crap autobiography in… YO! SUCHET The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes – Weekdays 6-10am
13 Jun 14
Episode 72 - Football, Football, Football, Terrible Singing and Serge from Kasabian
It’s the beginning of the World Cup … sorry, the GLOBAL FOOTBALLING EVENT 2014 in Episode 72 of The XFM Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes. AND HOW ARE WE GOING TO CELEBRATE??, we hear none of you shout… as this is exclusively a one way medium, unfortunately. Within this edition, we discover newshound Matt Dyson's rather varied journalistic styles, the team attempt their very best Damon Albarn 'observational' impressions, Jon welcomes Kasabian's Serge Pizzorno to the show, and we celebrate our alternative #BritishCoreValues. So stand up straight, bring your hand to your chest, and celebrate the Best of British XFM Breakfast Show Podcast! The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes. Weekdays 6 – 10am. 104.9FM
19 Jun 14
Episode 73 - Sticks, Sponges and Jars
Come one come all, and enjoy episode 73 of The XFM Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes! Within this week’s jam-packed installment, we discover which celebrity souls are up for sale, Jon reveal he knows maybe a little too much about how the Romans dealt with bowel movements, and we discover the hopes and dreams of a young Shane Ritchie thanks to this weeks Yo! Suchet. Amongst all the wonderful radio gold, we also modernise Monopoly, and thanks to regular feature 'Dead or Alive', we learn a little bit more about Jon's fairly bleak and almost Dickensian childhood. So don’t delay and listen to the podcast today! … Or, you know, whenever you’ve got time. The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes: Weekdays 6 – 10am. 104.9FM
26 Jun 14
Episode 74 - Bows, Arrows and Bushes
Great Goal! Terrific kick! Refereeeeeeeeeeeee! It’s the wholly unhelpful football fact-filled episode Episode 74 of The XFM Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes. So, what's in this weeks helping? To help you through the 'Global Footballing Event 2014' (because, as you know, we can't call it the other thing…), we bring you our 'Alternative Guides to the Nations'. Elsewhere, we ask you how you'd be bringing the festival experience to your lounge in our #DIYGlasto feature, and we spend an inordinate amount of time talking bushes, shafts and softening your wood in the 'The Largely Irrelevant Paper Review'. Plus, we bid adieu to out little Isle of Wight weirdo Intern Charles, as he performs his last ever task in 'Twelve Weeks A Slave' involving builders, sugar and an XFM branded poncho. So, you know, just listen. Cause to be honest, we've run out of clever ways to end these pointless blurbs The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes. Weekdays 6 – 10am. 104.9FM
10 Jul 14
Episode 75 - Heightism, a naked Producer Dave and 'Liggers with Attitude'
Hey there, internet fan! Welcome to The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes podcast. WARNING: This week's edition possibly raises more questions than it answers. For instance… - Is Jon taller than dead supreme leader Kim Jong-Il? - Did Producer Dave really enjoy a naked jacuzzi at his sister's 21st birthday party? - Is it possible to blag entry into a gig in Canada by claiming you work for XFM London - Does Jon use voice-manipulation equipment to make himself sound taller? - What exactly is a 'bender in a bun'? For all these weird and wonderful musings, and much more, dig in! The XFM Breakfast Show podcast with Jon Holmes: Weekdays 6-10am
17 Jul 14
Episode 76 - Viennetta, Cilla and Reshuffling
Welcome to edition 76 of The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes Podcast! This week, we discover Cilla Black's penchant for gay bars, as well as what a combination of Nickleback and Viennetta does to Newshound Matt, and a reshuffled William Hague is (practically) in the studio. Oh, and producer Dave goes on a course in order to clear up some cougar-based accusations. So sit back, have yourself a bowl of poghurt, and enjoy. The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes: Weekdays 6-10am
28 Jul 14
Episode 77 - Noel Fielding, Book Titles and Frank Doherty
Welcome, welcome to this here, the seventy-seventh edition of the XFM Breakfast Podcast. This week, Jon faces serious possible charges over a tea splillage, Noel Fielding drops by for a game of 'Band or Transformer' and we broadcast a public service announcement in search for a non-leather jacket-related title for Jon's book. T
17 Aug 14
Episode 78 - Simon Pegg, Yo! Suchet and Toddler Pops
Welcome to another edition of the XFM Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes! This week, a four year old mourns the loss of Robin Williams, kind of. SIMON PEGG pops in to play a game of 'Band Or Psychiatric Term'. Plus, noted broadcast journalist John Suchet reads aloud from another crap autobiography in regular feature YO! SUCHET. Enjoy
21 Aug 14
Episode 79 - Daniel Radcliffe, Sin City 2, and Lazy PR
Welcome to another edition of the XFM Breakfast Show Podcast! Come on in (but please wipe your feet first. Or take your shoes off altogether. Entirely up to you) This week, we chat to boy-wizard turned professional nudist DANIEL RADCLIFFE, and ask him what is sure to be one of the more controversial questions he's ever been asked. Elsewhere, Jon's now infamous ill-judged fashion sense rears it's ugly head again, we attempt to ruin the upcoming campaign for new film 'Sin City 2', and the team rifle through another week's worth of LAZY PR. Once you've listened, please leave quietly so as to avoid disturbing our local residents. Kind regards, THE XFM BREAKFAST SHOW WITH JON HOLMES: Weekdays 6-10am
28 Aug 14
Episode 80 - Johnny Marr, Web Woes, and Mystery Theme Tune
Congratulations! You are the proud owner of yet another XFM Breakfast Show Podcast. This week we speak to living legend and ‘God Like Genius’ – Johnny Marr – about Picasso, rock stereotypes and cross-country running. Plus, Jon is the victim of some direct internet marketing that is both ageist and heightist, Matt discovers that you can make Z-List celebs say anything you want if you pay them and High Priest Vexen Le Crowley gives us another Thought For The Day for Satanists. THE XFM BREAKFAST SHOW WITH JON HOLMES Weekdays 6-10am
4 Sep 14
Episode 81 - Crap grammar, Satanism and Matt Dyson's 'Puck Nips'
Happy 81st podcast download everyone! Well done for getting this far. You have our utmost admiration, as we're sure it can't have been an easy ride. This week, Vexen Le Crowley celebrates more hellish behaviour in 'Thought For The Day For Satanists', we discover why newshound Matt Dyson's nickname used to be 'Puck Nips', and Jon gets angry at some poor spelling… and rightly so. So sit back and enjoy podcast 81, as we suspect podcast 82 will be arriving in your interweb inbox in about a week's time. THE XFM BREAKFAST SHOW WITH JON HOLMES: Weekdays 6-10am
11 Sep 14
Episode 82 - Toddler Pops, Royal baby and another round up of Lazy PR!
Welcome to another XFM Breakfast Show Podcast, the 82nd one in fact. It’s good to see you again! As the ‘Princess, the Duchess of the Kate of the Cambridge’ is up the duff, for a second time by the mighty seed of William, forging it’s way up the… Ok we’ll leave it there. Moving on, Apple release their new 'life-changing' devices such as the Apple Watch, and Jon receives an email with a picture of a penis (which we duly pixelate for visual purposes, of course…) weirdly enough from ‘himself’. Jon also once again appears on BBC 2’s Newsnight, although this time - disappointingly - it wasn’t about his height. ENJOY! The XFM BREAKFAST SHOW WITH JON HOLMES. Mon–Fri 6–10am.
18 Sep 14
Episode 83 - Nicky Wire (Manic Street Preachers), Tradesman's Entrance & Boris Johnson's Fireworks.
Oh hello, us again! Congratulations on downloading the best bits of the XFM Breakfast Show, episode 83. You've come a long way. Let's get straight to it, shall we? Jon chats to Manic Street Preacher NICKY WIRE about service stations (again!), Pringles and his anti-social tendencies. Plus, a truly tenuous game of 'Wire or Wire' is played on the actual radio. We won't ruin the surprise here as to what this actually entails. Also, we launch brand new feature 'Tradesman's Entrance' (it's not what you think, we promise). We also sent out Intern Josh to the Apple Store on Regent St for the new release of the iPhone. Armed with a megaphone, Jon's twisted instructions and hundreds of sad tech geeks at his disposal, things can only go wrong.
25 Sep 14
Episode 84 - Tradesman's Entrance, a new edition of YO! Suchet plus another round up of Lazy PR!
Well, hello there! Welcome to another GROUND-BREAKING* edition of the XFM Breakfast Show Podcast With Jon Holmes. *Probably not at all ground-breaking Within episode 84… Your ears will be delighted with the likes of new feature ‘Tradesman’s Entrance’ (it’s Branson-based), Matt Dyson becomes an official judge for something very peculiar indeed, PLUS noted broadcast journalist John Suchet reads aloud from another celebrity’s laughable autobiography in regular feature (which is only on the radio due to it’s incredibly clever name) YO! SUCHET. Dig in! The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes: Weekdays 6-10am
2 Oct 14
Episode 85 - Sad Habits, Tradesman's Entrance & Matt's haunted child.
Oh hello. Welcome to another week's worth of goodness from the XFM Breakfast Show. During the next hour (ish) you will hear the likes of our new feature 'Sad Habits'. Jon has his own, which is the most embarrassing thing ever! We also have a game of Band or Cocktail as it's London Cocktail week & news reader Matt tells us about how his daughter see's dead people, PLUS we have another round up of Lazy PR. The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes: Weekdays from 6am.
9 Oct 14
Episode 86 - Ray Winstone, Sad habits & Jon makes A LOT of noise!
Oh hi, welcome to another edition of the XFM Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes. How are you? Missed us?? You'll be glad to know, we're back, with episode 86! On this one then - we hear from 4 year old Masie on Toddler Pops, and to make this podcast EXTRA cool we have Hackney's very own MR RAY WINSTONE , he's chatting to Jon about his new book, and surprisingly Bet 365! And not forgetting when Jon makes A LOT of noise in a very quiet public place for our brand new charity - Global's Make Some Noise. ENJOY! XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes: Weekdays from 6am.
16 Oct 14
Episode 87 - Kevin Bridges, Tradesman's Entrance and Matt's haunted child!
Hi there, podcast wanderer! Thanks for popping by. Welcome to another top notch XFM Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes. Within this audio delight, Jon chats to Scottish comic KEVIN BRIDGES. He swung by to talk about cake attacks, prank calls and the importance of the bullet point…it really is much more interesting than it may sound from that final highlight. Elsewhere, we enjoy another round of 'Tradesman's Entrance', where another listener is largely indiscreet about work they've done in or around a celebrity. PLUS, newshound Matt Dyson's child (the gift that keeps on giving) continues to see dead people in their kitchen. Not creepy at all. Enjoy! - The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes: weekdays 6-10am
23 Oct 14
Episode 88 - Dermot O'Leary, Tradesman's Entrance & Lazy PR!
Good day to you podcast dweller. As luck would have it, you have chanced upon episode 88 (I know, where does the time go?) of The XFM Breakfast Show podcast with Jon Holmes. Inside this downloadable treat, Mr Holmes catches up with TV presenter DERMOT O’LEARY to chat about naked selfies and public pissing. We also hear from another listener in everyone's favourite new feature (for the cheeky name, if nothing else) ‘Tradesman’s Entrance’ (this week's covers Elton John and some unfortunate plumbing). PLUS, it turns out that Kurt Cobain LOVES Mary Berry! Enjoy. The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes: Weekday 6-10am
31 Oct 14
Episode 89 - Russell Brand, Sad Habits & Tough Mudder
Well hello there you podcast downloader – isn't this exciting, nearly 90 episodes!! But for now, it's Episode 89 – you will hear the following.. RUSSELL BRAND pops in for a chat, to promote his new book 'Revolution', instead of doing so – he discusses the apparent rumour of him running for London Mayor. We round up more of your 'Sad Habits' and we talk to another listener who's largely indiscreet about work they've done in or around a celebrity. ENJOY, the XFM Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes: Weekdays 6-10am.
7 Nov 14
Episode 90 - Elijah Wood, YO! Suchet & Jon's exorcist bedtime story.
Oh well look at this, episode 90 of The XFM Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes! Just ten away from 100… but you figured that out, right? Within this nugget of magic, we chat to Hollywood actor ELIJAH WOOD. He stops by to play a game of Band Or Poem PLUS noted broadcast journalist, John Suchet reads aloud from another aimless celebrity autobiography in YO! SUCHET. Oh, and we also chat to another Tradesman in the gift that just keeps on giving, called 'Tradesman's Entrance'. All on this week's podcast. Cherish and enjoy. The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes: Weekdays 6-10am.
14 Nov 14
Episode 91 - Dave Grohl, Toddler Pops & Song From Hell
Welcome along to episode 91 of the XFM Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes. Are you ready to GROHL with it..? Get it, no? Never mind. Let's continue. Waiting for your human ears within this one then, we add another segment into our Song From Hell. This week it's all about crap spelling in songs. We chat to the main man of rock 'n' roll and Foo frontman DAVE GROHL! He tells us, amongst other things, how Kurt Cobain once p*ssed in someone's shoe during a show. PLUS, we have another Thought For The Day For Satanists from the high priest of Mephistopheles Vexen Le Crowley. All on this week's podcast. Cherish and enjoy. The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes: Weekdays 6-10am.
21 Nov 14
Episode 92 - Noel Gallagher special
Uncensored and in it's entirety, welcome to a very special podcast featuring NOEL GALLAGHER on The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes! Jemima 'Two Sugars', sax solos and nutritional breakfast bars… All the big issues covered, we're sure you'll agree. Enjoy. The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes: Weekdays 6-10am.
22 Nov 14
Episode 93 - Sarah Millican, Tradesman's Entrance and Sad Habits.
Hello, and welcome to more radio fun from XFM Breakfast. Before you get comfortable with Episode 93, why not take a visit to Episode 92? Over there you'll find quite a special chat with Noel Gallagher, but I take it you already know that, right? Anyway, let's continue! On this one, we hear from everyone's favourite Geordie who wears glasses, who is also a comedian, Sarah Millican. Plus, Matt Dyson's child continues to say things that are utterly terrifying! Enjoy! - The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes: Weekdays 6-10am
28 Nov 14
Episode 94 - Horrible Bosses, Peter Capaldi & Retro Parents
Welcome to a very special (not that special) 94th edition of the XFM Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes! On this one, we chat to sweary scot/eccentric doctor (Who), Peter Capaldi. We hear from another listener who has plied their trade in a celebrity's home with Tradesman's Entrance. PLUS, more hot guest Hollywood action comes courtesy of Jason Bateman, Charlie Day and Jason Sudeikis from new flick 'Horrible Bosses 2', as we treat them to a game of 'Band Or… Company Name'. Enjoy! The XFM Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes: Weekdays from 6-10am
5 Dec 14
Episode 95 - The Inbetweeners, Ross Noble & Lights, Camera, Christmas!
Welcome to another episode of the XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes. The 95th, no less! In this one, we hear from everyone's favourite LADS - Simon, Joe, James and Blake from that Inbetweeners film. Plus, ROSS NOBLE and his weird and wonderful mind pop in for a chat ahead of his new tour. Aaaaand we hear from another listener who has plied their trade within a celebrity's dwelling, in our cleverly named feature Tradesman's Entrance. Dive in! The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes. Weekdays 6-10am
12 Dec 14
Episode 96 - Harry Hill, Jude Law & Tradesman's Entrance
As Rebecca Black once said, 'It's Friday, Friday. Got to get down on Friday'. Wise words indeed (as long as you're downloading this on the day of release. If not, the sentiment makes no sense). ANYWAY, we digress. Welcome to the XFM Breakfast Show podcast. This week, then… HARRY HILL discusses his dogging techniques, JUDE LAW talks naked selfies, and listener Tom reveals all about Luisa Zissman's front garden. Not a euphemism. Enjoy! The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes Weekdays 6-10am
19 Dec 14
Episode 97 - Christmas Batman, Toddler Pops and Tradesman's Entrance
As XFM Winter Wonderland took place on Wednesday, we look back at some of the highlights including Intern Josh dressed inexplicably as a festive Batman and Producer Dave getting all 'above his station' with a walkie-talkie. Elsewhere, we hear from another listener in regular feature Tradesman's Entrance. This is where we speak to a tradesman who has plied their trade in/or around a celebrity's house. But you knew that already. Plus, another round up of the laziest marketing emails of the week in Lazy PR, and 4 year old Maisie bangs another tune on Toddler Pops. The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes. Weekdays on XFM from 6-10am
24 Dec 14
Episode 98 - Christmas Special!
Ding Dong Merrily on THIS, podcast lovers… Welcome to a very festive edition of the XFM Breakfast Show podcast with Jon Holmes. Inside this audible stocking… Petrol-heads JEREMY CLARKSON and RICHARD HAMMOND popped by for a chat (we say 'popped by'. They were of course in to flog another DVD) Matt’s weather gets even more fanciful, and we're treated to another satanical musing (albeit a very Christmassy one) from High Priest Vexen Le Crowley. So pop another Terry's Chocolate Orange in your fat gob, grab a Bailey's, and enjoy! The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes – weekdays 6-10am
9 Jan 15
Episode 99 - Corden, Blunt, Chivalry and Swearing
Greetings dear internet traveller! You have happened upon episode 99 of the XFM Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes. Inside the final edition before we go 'triple digit'… - JAMES CORDEN and EMILY BLUNT (don't muddle up those surnames) play a filthy game of 'Band or Forest'. - Trained broadcast journalist Matt Dyson gets all sweary on the radio - PLUS, one lucky listener decks out Dame Judi Dench's Hallway… this is not a euphemism. Enjoy! The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes: Weekdays 6-10am 104.9FM | @XFM | xfm.co.uk
20 Jan 15
Episode 100 - Liam Neeson, Noel Gallagher and Aled Jones
We celebrate our 100th podcast with an EXCLUSIVE APPEARANCE from Her Majesty THE QUEEN. And talking of royalty, friend of the show NOEL GALLAGHER is back to talk his new single, Glastonbury and his autobiographical musical. We also chat to LIAM NEESON from the movies! Enjoy all this PLUS Toddler Pops, Dead or Alive and new feature: Walking In The Air with ALED JONES. Enjoy! The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes: Weekdays 6-10am.
28 Jan 15
Episode 101 - Johnny Vegas, Noel Fielding's Voice Double and the town of Attleborough
Hello and welcome to the next instalment of the ongoing saga that is The XFM Breakfast Show Podcast. This week JOHNNY VEGAS speaks to Jon and plays a game of Band or Monkey. Also we ask the dear listeners what lies they have let people believe. Finally, in a PODCAST EXCLUSIVE, we discover that Intern Cornelius is a voice double of NOEL FIELDING. The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes | Weekdays from 6-10am | 104.9fm
30 Jan 15
Episode 102 - Ricky Wilson, Winter Wimps and Gwyneth Paltrow's Uterus
Hello and welcome to what will go down in history as Episode 102 of The XFM Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes. In this week's edition Ricky Wilson touches base from South America via the means of electric telephone. We also share tales of Winter Wimps, play a game of Band or Castle and there's also all the usual nonsense. The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes | Weekdays from 6- 10am | 104.9fm
6 Feb 15
Episode 103 - Scary Animal Hybrids, Song From Hell and The Jump
CONGRATULATIONS! You've unlocked level 'Episode 103' of The XFM Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes. This week we asked you to tell us what animal concoctions you find the most terrifying. We also create another Song From Hell out of all the gratuitous name drops that are found in music. As well as all this there is a lovely buffet of breakfast show goodness. The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes | Weekdays from 6- 10am | 104.9fm
13 Feb 15
Episode 104 - 50 Shades of David Gray, Lot or Not and Sad Habits
Please come in and sit down. It's never easy to tell anyone this, but I'm afraid you have Episode 104 of The XFM Breakfast Podcast with Jon Holmes. This week to celebrate the release of that film everyone is going on about, we play a game of 50 Shades of David Gray. We also delve once more into your sad habits. All of this plus a whole lot more of what has been described as 'breakfast radio content'. The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes | Weekdays from 6- 10am | 104.9fm
20 Feb 15
Episode 105 - Florence Sans The Machine, Bob Odenkirk and Petty Complaints
We're very pleased to announced the line up of Episode 105 of The XFM Breakfast Show With Jon Holmes. Headlining is Florence Welch of '…And The Machine' fame and star of Better Call Saul, Bob Odenkirk! Also appearing is hotly anticipated news of Intern Cornelius's Valentine's date, your petty complaints you've sent to companies and a special appearance the Chaff News. The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes | Weekdays from 6- 10am | 104.9fm
27 Feb 15
Episode 106 - Brits, Oscars and Duran Duran
And the winner of…. Best Breakfast Show… on a London-based Indie Music Radio Station Podcast Episode goes to… Episode 106 of The XFM Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes! On the podcast this week, we chat Oscars, Brits and we draft in THE Jamie Cullum who gives us a run down of the week's Jazz magazines in new feature, Jamie's Jazz Mags. The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes | Weekdays from 6- 10am | 104.9fm
5 Mar 15
Episode 107 - Hugh Jackman, Michael McIntyre and Different Strokes
Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No it's Episode 107 of The XFM Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes. On this week's podcast we have Hugh Jackman who was here to chat about his new film Chappie. Also our amazing intern (who also happens to write this podcast description) orders the team's breakfast in the voice of Michael McIntyre. Jon and Matt also take a stroll in a petting zoo in order to play a game of Different Strokes. The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes | Weekdays from 6- 10am | 104.9fm
13 Mar 15
Episode 108 - Jeremy Clarkson, Comic Relief and Intern Cornelius's Mum
I am what I am, and what I am is Episode 108 of The XFM Breakfast Show Podcast With Jon Holmes. On this week's episode, no one expects the Spanish Drinquisition, Travel hound Matt does the travel news for 24 hours straight from the One Show studio and we hear what Intern Cornelius's Mother has been getting up to. The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes | Weekdays from 6- 10am | 104.9fm
20 Mar 15
Episode 109 - The Budget, The Magic Whip and Elton John
And we can now see the Chancellor of the Exchequer emerge from No.11 Downing Street and hold aloft Episode 109 of The XFM Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes. On this week's podcast we help out George Osbourne by providing suggestions for The People's Budget. We also emerge whipping boy Intern Cornelius into whipped cream to pick out speeches by the Chief Whip, Michael Gove in a game called The Magic Whip. The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes | Weekdays from 6- 10am | 104.9fm
27 Mar 15
Episode 110 - Wild Revenge Tales, Disciplinaries at Work and Wasting Time
You can take off your coat. You can take off your shoes. You can take off your dress, but you can leave Episode 110 of The XFM Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes on. On this week's podcast we hear stories from you about revenge, disciplinaries at work and how you waste time on a Friday. The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes | Weekdays from 6- 10am | 104.9fm
2 Apr 15
Episode 111 - April Fools, Distant Pasta and Dave's Wedding
We are gathered here today to witness the loving union of Episode 111 of The XFM Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes and erm… the internet. On this week's podcast, we have lots of WACKY April Fools Fun, a game of Distant Pasta is played to give away Everything Everything tickets and the listeners suggest different ways for Jon to ruin Dave's wedding. The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes | Weekdays from 6- 10am | 104.9fm
10 Apr 15
Episode 112 - Musical Proverbs, The Origins of Yeezus and Shaun Ryder's Thyroid
So after countless meetings, endless paperwork and miles of red tape, we have finally settled on the name 'Episode 112 of The XFM Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes'. Mentioned this week in no particular order is Bobby Davro, Thin Lizzy, Go Nuts for Doughnuts, Prince Andrew, Chlamydia, Poldack and Jamie Cullum. The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes | Weekdays from 6- 10am | 104.9fm
17 Apr 15
Episode 113 - Honest Dating Profiles, Band or Flowers and Tim Westwood with Ronnie Corbett
We have reached the unlucky number of (100) and 13 for this week's episode of The XFM Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes. To celebrate the milestone for this week, we've took the honesty test to create honest dating profiles, a game of Band or Flowers is played in order to win Brandon Flowers tickets and we have a special interview from Tim Westwood with Ronnie Corbett. The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Homes | Weekdays from 6am - 10am | 104.9fm
24 Apr 15
Episode 114 - Nans on Coke, the Global Marathon and the Game of George's
Fear not ye faithful podcast listeners, the date has arrived for the new podcast to be bought to you for Episode 114 of The XFM Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes. This week Doris the Nan tells us about her bingo party tricks, we host a special Global Marathon for our Intern Cornelius and hold a Game of George's in celebration of St George's day. The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes | Weekdays from 6 - 10am | 104.9fm
30 Apr 15
Episode 115 - Hated Words, Bad Sexy Lyrics and a Political Infant child
Good morning, good afternoon and / or good evening, and welcome to another helping of more podcast fun! This week… Jon and the team get all 'ranty' and throw a load of hateful words in a metaphorical bin with our 'word amnesty'. An infant child gets worryingly political in regular feature 'Toddler Pops'… Plus, you'll be astounded with how much 'bad sexy time' is in songs. Find out just how much in 'XFM's Song From Hell'. Enjoy! The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes Weekdays 6-10am XFM.co.uk
10 May 15
Episode 116- The worst feelings, more bad sexy songs and mumford and sons.
Just as you were starting to miss us, here we are again for another amazing episode of the Jon Holmes XFM Breakfast Show! During this week we discussed the worst feelings possible, revisited bad sexy songs to find more terrible attempts at being sexy and were joined by some of the Mumford and Sons lads. The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes | Weekdays from 6- 10am | 104.9fm
14 May 15
Episode 117 - Kerry Katona's old fake boob, haunted houses and Stereophonics' Kelly Jones
Round up round up, here have Episode 117 of The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes for sale… and it's FREE. During this week we have brought back a game of 'The price is broadly right at the time of going to press' and found out the price of Kerry Katona's old boob, exchanged haunted house stories to find out what Jon's child said to him and Stereophonics' Kelly Jones joined us for a game of 'Band or Expression'. Enjoy. The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes | Weekdays from 6- 10am | 104.9fm
21 May 15
Episode 118 - Matt playing with his bells, Brandon Flowers and the weird things you do when you're alone.
Prepare yourself for an explosive episode of The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes as the podcast reaches a youthful age of 18 (plus an extra 100 on top). This week, we can't stop Matt from playing on his own bells to recreate some indie tunes. Brandon Flowers joined us for a chat, PLUS we found out what weird little things you get up to when you're on your own. Delve in! The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes | Weekdays 6- 10am | 104.9FM
28 May 15
Episode 119 - Bruce Jenner's Wheaties, Bad Travel Advice and Dead or Alive
3…. 2…. 1… ACTION! Another Episode of The XFM Breakfast Show with leading role Jon Holmes, join in and bag yourself a role as an extra for the episode simply by downloading and listening! This week we talk about how much Bruce Jenner's Wheaties are worth, uncovered bad travel advice in songs and played a game of dead or alive! CUT. Enjoy! The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes | Weekdays 6- 10am | 104.9FM
14 Jun 15
Episode 120 - Blurs prostitute, Graham Coxon and Lowest moments
Be prepared to have your mind blown by this week's exclusive (exclusively available to everyone) edition of the XFM Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes - read the small print, if your mind is actually blown no compensation claims can be made. During this week's podcast we speak to Blur's prostitute Lesley as well as being joined by Graham Coxon himself. We also relive one of Jon's lowest life moments. Tuck in! The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes | Weekdays 6- 10am | 104.9FM
18 Jun 15
Episode 121 - Crap TV moments, Spilt milk travel updates and Tailored travel
Episode 121 - Well isn't it good to see you again! Glad that you've came to see us, the kettle is on ready. We welcome you to another Episode of The XFM Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes. This week we relive your 5 minutes of crap TV fame, get the updates of milk infected travel and we help guide someone on their personal route to work with Tailored travel! Enjoy. The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes | Weekdays 6- 10am | 104.9FM
25 Jun 15
Episode 122- Crap phobias, mistreated animals and Dead or Alive
'FOMO' - The fear of missing out. Well fear not friends, as Episode 122 of The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes has arrived! This week we talk about peoples Crap Phobias, discover mistreated animals in lyrics with Song From Hell and play a game of Dead or Alive! Go on, go for it.The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes | Weekdays 6- 10am | 104.9FM
2 Jul 15
Episode 123 - Game of Groans, Ham Slices and Slongs.
Its simple as 123, ABC, download me! We are now on to Episode 123 of The XFM Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes. In this weeks episode we compare the groans of adult video's to the groans of Wimbledon tennis players in a Game of Groans, uncover what Jon did to use a slice of processed ham in a unusual way and also had a great chat about slongs and other words available to describe slongs. ENJOY! The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes | Weekdays 6- 10am | 104.9FM
9 Jul 15
Episode 124 - Seth MacFarlane and Mark Wahlberg, Out staying your welcome and Ed Sheeran on Tinder
Episode 124, who's that knocking at the door? Oh, its The XFM Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes. In this weeks Episode we're joined by the hiliarous duo Seth MacFarlane and Mark Wahlberg for a game of Band or Dope, we've took the times when people have out stayed their welcome somewhere and exploit them on air and we found Ed Sheeran amongst other celebs on Tinder on our Chaff News desk! Take it away! The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes | Weekdays 6- 10am | 104.9FM
16 Jul 15
Episode 125 - Paul Rudd, Queen Vic's knickers and Trust issues
The Official announcement for the new leader of the online podcasts goes too… Episode 125 of The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes! In this weeks podcast we're joined by Paul Rudd playing a game of Band Or Insect, we find out the value of the Queen Victoria's knickers and also uncover some of reasons why people have trust issues with others (reasons ranging from beards to short sleeved shirts)! The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes | Weekdays 6- 10am | 104.9FM
23 Jul 15
Episode 126 - Jake Gyllenhall, Frank Turner and Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop.
Hold on to your hats as you're about to be blown away by Episode 126 of the XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes. This week we're joined by Jake Gyllenhall and Frank Turner, and we then find out what Gwyneth Paltrow gets up to with a steam cleaner and her downstairs area.. Go wild. The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes | Weekdays 6- 10am | 104.9FM
30 Jul 15
Episode 127 - Simon Pegg, The Human Centipede and swearing
This week's podcast is short but sweet - much like its host - but don't let that put you off as it packs a mighty punch (much like its host if you call him short and sweet). There's a visit from friend of the show Simon Pegg who reveals he has a sad habit, we discover a new voice for The X Factor and use everyday words as swear words. So for flux sake, sit back and enjoy the epping podcast. You complete Jenga! The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes | Weekdays 6- 10am | 104.9FM
13 Aug 15
Episode 128 - Jack Whitehall, Cartoon Crushes and #TrustIssues
It’s that time of the week again! Are you ready for it? Are you sure? It’s the 128th Episode of the XFM Breakfast Show with the mighty Jon Holmes. This week Jack Whitehall fought for his pride in a game of ‘Band or Cornish Cottage’ after talking about his new film Bad Education… that isn’t finished yet, with a week to go until release. We also asked the inappropriate question surrounding cartoon characters you fancy. Also, a bit of Chaff News to dampen your spirits and #TrustIssues, which turned very weird indeed. Tuck in! The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes | Weekdays 6-10am | 104.9FM. It’s that time of the week again! Are you ready for it? Are you sure? It’s the 128th Episode of the XFM Breakfast Show with the mighty Jon Holmes. This week Jack Whitehall fought for his pride in a game of ‘Band or Cornish Cottage’ after talking about his new film Bad Education… that isn’t finished yet, with a week to go until release. We also asked the inappropriate question surrounding cartoon characters you fancy. Also, a bit of Chaff News to dampen your spirits and #TrustIssues, which turned very weird indeed. Tuck in! The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes | Weekdays 6-10am | 104.9FM.
20 Aug 15
Episode 129 - Tom Meighan, Nicki Minaj's bum and the return of Gwyneth Paltrow's downstairs.
Welcome one and all to the famous (not that famous) XFM Breakfast Show podcast with Jon Holmes! In this week’s jam-packed edition, you’ll be happy to hear we’re joined by Kasabian’s Tom Meighan (he burns his lip on some coffee), where he talks a little bit about this years’ V Festival. We also discuss a bit of chaff news that some may say shouldn’t even really call itself news with the inclusion of Nicki Minaj’s bum. Also we’ve thrown in a few games including Toddler Pops and ‘Band Or… Plane’, not to mention the much-anticipated return of Gwyneth Paltrow’s downstairs area. The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes | Weekdays 6-10am | 104.9FM.
27 Aug 15
Episode 130 – The big London dial code dispute, a naked Matt Dyson and shameless book plugging…
Welcome along to another fun-packed edition of The XFM Breakfast Show podcast! Please take your shoes off at the door. This week, we heard far too much about Jon’s new book (out now, as if you didn’t know!) with a bespoke game of ‘Holmes From Holmes'. Matt Dyson also showed us his ‘little fella’, and we delved headfirst into an epic debate on how to pronounce London dialling codes… LBC must be crapping themselves. Enjoy! The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes | Weekdays 6- 10am | 104.9FM
3 Sep 15
Episode 131 - 'Some Mumfords Do Ave 'Em', pooh-sticks and some Songs from Hell.
Welcome along to another dose of Breakfast nonsense with Jon Holmes and his podcast! It might have been a slightly shorter week for most, but that hasn’t stopped us proving why we’re the 179th most popular podcast on iTunes! This week… We played a game of 'Some Mumfords Do Ave ‘Em’, courtesy of producer Simon’s uncanny impression of Frank Spencer (from Some Mothers Do Ave ‘Em, obviously). We also went big (possibly too big) on pooh-sticks, and finally we brought you some deliciously dismal Songs From Hell. Please. Enjoy it on your own, or with friends and family. The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes | Weekdays 6- 10am | 104.9FM
10 Sep 15
Episode 132 - The Final Ever XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes Podcast
Hello and goodbye forever! This week’s episode marks the end of the infamous XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes as the new shiny Radio X comes fourth. Now before the tears begin to spew from your face, let’s remember the good times, the bad times and of course, the crude times. To round everything off in style, we bring you the mighty breaking of Marcus Mumford’s Banjo String, a final thought for Satanists, the Denegation game and an exclusive from with the Woolwich Ferry Documentary. The XFM Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes | 104.9FM
26 Sep 15
Weekend 1 - The Radio X Weekend Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes
Thought you'd got rid of us didn't you? Well I'm afraid you'll have to drag us out of this building, and despite the best efforts of the Global Radio security staff to do just that, we've managed to hold on. So welcome to the all new Radio X Weekend Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes. This week we have new features in the shape of Box Office Balls, Alco-Vox-Pops as well as timely classics such as 'Band Or…' and Dead or Alive. So… shall we?
3 Oct 15
Weekend 2 - The Radio X Weekend Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes
It's time to face the music! Well it's not really. In fact the total opposite due to legal restraints that means we've had to take the music out of the podcast. I think you hear a few seconds of the opening riff of Sweet Child O' Mine at one point, but don't go telling Axl Slash or whatever his name is. In this week's podcast, Box Office Balls, Con-descending, Alco-Vox Pops and another game of Tourist Top Trumps. Tune in on Radio X Weekend Mornings from 6.30 - 10.00am.
10 Oct 15
Weekend 3 - The Radio X Weekend Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes
It is advised that you consult your doctor before consuming this podcast. The recommended dose is one episode a week for ages 14+. Ingredients include Jon Holmes, Ginger Producer Dave, Paid Intern Cornelius, Sad Habits, Box Office Balls, Alcovoxpops, Dead Or Alive and cinnamon. Please be warned that possible side-effects of this podcast include hair-loss, skin reactions, crippling pain and Vernon Kay.
17 Oct 15
Weekend 4 - The Radio X Weekend Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes
And just like Boris Johnson crashes into a small Japanese child, the Radio X Weekend Breakfast podcasts comes clattering into the internet. For those who are reading this in the future, the week this podcast was released, London Mayor Boris Johnson knocked over a child whilst playing touch rugby in Japan. This was before he became Prime Minister or the UK and then Supreme Over-Lord of Earth. On the podcast this week, comedian Brett Goldstein plays a game of Band or Super-Villian, Jon reveals the Ginger Producer Dave's intentions with a girl from Bristol and we ask how you have damaged children.
24 Oct 15
Weekend 5 - The Radio X Weekend Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes
And here you will find a Weekend Breakfast Show Podcast which has been carefully hand-crafted by the Paid Intern Cornelius, a rising star in radio production who is certain to go on to big things and is also writing this really quite arrogant podcast summary. On the podcast this week, we ask what the worst thing a house guest of yours has ever done, we discuss wholly inappropiate toys, Lazy PR makes a triumphant return and we discuss the (lack of) fan mail the show receives.
1 Nov 15
Weekend 6 - The Radio X Weekend Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes
Do you remember back in 2006 when it was 'Chico Time'? Well fast-forward to now and you'll find it is 'The Radio X Weekend Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes Time'. On the podcast this week movie film star Nicholas Hoult plays a game of Band or Name For Street Drug, Ricky Wilson helps us complete a push for the station's podcast and Ginger Producer Dave's intentions with a girl are revealed on air.
8 Nov 15
Weekend 7 - The Radio X Weekend Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes
Hello and welcome to what the critics are already calling "Episode 7 of The Radio X Weekend Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes". I'm not going to go on about the other things they say about the show as we don't want to damage Ginger Producer Dave's self-confidence. On the podcast this week we ask you the listener which celebrity's mum have you met, sad habits, box office balls and two lots of Alco-Vox Pops.
15 Nov 15
Weekend 8 - The Radio X Weekend Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes
It's well and truly The Weekend Breakfast Podcast with Jon Holmes. There’s no denying it and nothing you can do about it. On the podcast this week we ask how you didn’t raise money for Children in Need, Jon does impressions of two other people who share his name and Paid Intern Cornelius insists that we encourage the listeners to text in the name of their dentist.
22 Nov 15
Weekend 9 - The Radio X Weekend Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes
reetings internet fellow and welcome to what has been accused of being The Radio X Weekend Breakfast Podcast with Jon Holmes. This week Paid Intern hosted a fundraising race night for his scout group and Jon and Dave sent him along with a little dare. Also a podcast debut for the 20 Second Showcase where we play 20 seconds of music demos sent in without previously listening to them (jon@radiox.co.uk if you’d like some radio airplay). Plus a load of the usual nonsense.
29 Nov 15
Weekend 10 - The Radio X Weekend Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes
Podcast 10! That’s right! 10! Double digits. And what better way is there to celebrate this landmark podcast than by listening to it? Just in case you’re a new listener, just to bring you up to speed, Jon looks a bit like Dom Joly in his Radio X photo, Paid Intern Cornelius is not good at reading or speaking and Dave Berry ***** **** *** ** strippers. On this week’s podcast comedian Justin Moorhouse, Alco-Vox Pops, Con-Descending and a reasonable amount more!
6 Dec 15
Weekend 11 - The Radio X Weekend Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes
Hello there, rumour has it that you have 47 minutes and 20 seconds of silence in your life to fill and boy do we have the answer. Its our podcast, all the best bits of The Weekend Breakfast Show on Radio X, unless of course you consider the music or adverts the best bit. On this week’s podcast more of your Trust Issues, High Priest Vexen LeCrowley is back with another Thought For The Day For Satanists and also a great chat about shopping centres in the UK.
13 Dec 15
Weekend 12 - The Radio X Weekend Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes
Right. Here’s your bloody podcast. Happy now? Well you should be because it’s both excellent and free. The best bits from Weekend 12 of Jon Holmes on Radio X has been allowed in to your device, just like how Muslims are still allowed into the USA (correct at the time of the podcast being published). New feature this week in the shape of The Suggestion Box, plus old classics such as Alco-Vox Pops, Box Office Balls and also some important news regarding Paid Intern Cornelius’s love life.
20 Dec 15
Weekend 13 - The Radio X Weekend Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes
Ok then here it is the last podcast before Christmas. You’ve had your office party, you’ve asked your colleagues what they are doing for Christmas despite the fact you don’t care and what better way is there to kick-start your Christmas than listening to a commercial radio station’s weekend breakfast show podcast? This week: AVP (that’s short of Alco-Vox Pops), BOB (that’s short for Box Office Balls) and MMM! (that’s short for Much Much More!)
27 Dec 15
Weekend 14 - The Radio X Weekend Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes
Very glad tidings to you on this festive edition of The Weekend Breakfast Show Podcast. Well we say slightly festive, it’s mostly content from the couple days after Christmas, so it should give you a similar feeling to a Boxing Day stomach ache. On this week’s episode, we hear your christmas nightmare stories, we examine the song Baby It’s Cold Outside and more trust issues.
3 Jan 16
Weekend 15 - The Radio X Weekend Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes
Imagine if you will the Breakfast Show equivalent of the Environmental Agency and now imagine they have built insufficient defences allowing The Jon Holmes Show to burst its banks and flood your computer or handheld device with highlights from the show. Seeping into your homes are The 12 Kays Of Quizmas (too complicated to explain here), A Galaxy Far Far Away (same again) and Con-Descending (FFS do we have any features that easily make sense?!).
8 Jan 16
BONUS PODCAST - The Radio X Weekend Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes
You lucky people. Because we’ve been working our arses off 7 days-a-week filling in for one Chris Moyles, we’ve said so much inane drivel on the radio recently that we’ve amassed enough nonsense for an extra bonus podcast! On this bonus extra podcast thing, Mother Goose is on the 12 Kays Of Quizmas, Jingle Chat and a joke where the punchline is “… free prawn crackers”. Normal podcast service will resume this Sunday!
10 Jan 16
Weekend 16 - The Radio X Weekend Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes
Come gather round and sit cross legged as an elderly man reads aloud from The Jon Holmes Show on Radio X. Or, if it’s easier, just listen to this podcast. On this week, we create our on ideas for Partwork Magazines, we are let down by a Sugar babe and Vexen LeCrowley returns for another Thought For The Day For Satanists.
19 Jan 16
Weekend 17 - The Radio X Weekend Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes
Despite it being absolutely great, we are please to announced that Jon Holmes podcast has not died this week. On the podcast this week actor Matthew 'Longbottom' Lewis, Dave Berry and new feature Trivial Pur-Sutra!
24 Jan 16
Weekend 18 - The Radio X Weekend Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes
Are you suffering from a serious nonsense deficiency? Well do we have the cure for you. Welcome to what is an hour of three men and a lady largely saying ‘Ross’ over and over again. On the podcast this week, we talk about Ross ‘Rossathon’ ‘Rossy’ Overnights quite a bit, we add to the food chapter of the Trivial Pur-Sutra, and Jigs from Capital Xtra plays Vernon Kay-Master. Feel free to share/inflict this podcast on others.
31 Jan 16
Weekend 19 - The Radio X Weekend Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes
Hello and welcome to the podcast, or as Russell Brand would call it, the Poddy Woddy. This week someone from the BBC was alleged to have done something naughty but was not named in the papers, so we asked you to guess who it was, which turned out was a bad idea. Also alcovoxpops returns as well as a transporty Karma Pur-Sutra and Kat Shoob plays for top spot on the Vernon Kaymaster Leaderboard.
7 Feb 16
Weekend 20 - The Radio X Weekend Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes
Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No! It’s a cliched start to a podcast bio. Hello and welcome to what promises to be the 20th podcast from The Radio X Weekend Breakfast Show with Jon Holmes. In this week’s podcast we very much get into the spirit of things by talking about the Super Bowl. We also continue to update the Karma Sutra, play a game of Band or Children’s book and water board a newsreader.
14 Feb 16
Weekend 21 - The Radio X Weekend Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes
Baby, take of your coat, real slow. Baby, take off your shoes. We’ll help you take off your shoes. Baby, take off your dress. Yes, yes, yes. You can leave your headphones on. (Well you’ll have to listen to the podcast). On this week’s Valentine Day special podcast, (which Paid Intern Cornelius spent his actual Valentine’s day making alone in an office) Steve Coogan is on the show to talk terrible radio, which is a bit close and to home. Also, Vernon Kay-Master, The Trivial Pur-Sutra and some Valentine’s facts.
21 Feb 16
Weekend 22 - The Radio X Weekend Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes
And the award for most Radio X Weekend Breakfast Show-y podcast goes to this one! And no Kanye West, Beyonce did not deserve to win it, so sit down. On the podcast this week we chat Adele at The Grammys, Jon gets heckled whilst introducing Frank Turner and a revelation regarding Paid Intern Cornelius’s name. All this and more, and then some more after that, here.
28 Feb 16
Weekend 23 - The Radio X Weekend Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes
The hills, they are alive, not with the sound of music, but with the sound of this very podcast. Specifically this episode. This episode is the most listened to piece of audio above 70 metres above sea level. On the podcast this week: Thicker Than Ronni, Leap Day/Year Facts, a different type of Con-Descending and also Colin The Caterpillar. You can follow Jon Holmes on twitter @jonholmes1.
6 Mar 16
Weekend 24 - The Radio X Weekend Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes
Here is this week’s podcast (no pun intended). It’s Mother’s Day (well it was when this was published). OMG just realised how every sentence so far has a bit in brackets at the end (including this one). On the podcast this week: feature, content, light chat, lots of TALK.
13 Mar 16
Weekend 25 - The Radio X Weekend Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes
“Our time is running out” is our favourite Muse lyric. Anyway that’s probably irrelevant. Here’s the podcast of Jon Holmes on Radio X. Its all the best bits of Jon and team talking on radio, a sure recipe for success. On the podcast this week, a shoe falls apart, Crufts happens and Alco-Vox Pops makes a grand return.
20 Mar 16
Weekend 26 - The Radio X Weekend Breakfast Show Podcast with Jon Holmes
So here it is, the FINAL Jon Holmes on Radio X Podcast. A sincere thank you to everyone has downloaded / listened / subscribed. Jon is moving on to pastures new, if you’d like more details find him on twitter at @jonholmes1. Right, we’re gonna steal everything we can and get out of here. Ciao!